Letters and Opinions (1)

The Daily Spirit

October 9, 2007

Dear editors, I hope you publish my letter. The things I have to say are important to me and I think that they should be important to other people too. My name is Aaron Walker, and I am twelve years old. My uncle Michael smoked Spirit Sticks and he died last year of lung cancer. My mom smokes Spirit Sticks too, and I am afraid that she is going to die like my uncle. Can you talk to the Smoker for me and get him to save my mom. I know if anyone can help her it is him. Thank you,

Aaron Walker

Editors respond:

Aaron, we here at the Daily Spirit are truly saddened by your story, and we offer our sincerest condolences to you and your mother. Also, we want to say that we are sorry that your mom smokes cigarettes, but we are afraid that we cannot honor your request and talk to the Smoker about this. He is a busy man and does not have time to worry about each individual person. He has larger concerns on his mind; you should respect that, Aaron, and take solace in the fact that even if the Smoker had time to help, there is nothing he can do. Sorry kiddo.

Dear Daily Spirit

I have a bone to pick with your publication. A few weeks ago you published a story about a woman named Marion Hartford. She claimed that she had been impregnated by the Smoker and had given birth to his babies. The article implied that when Marion confronted Mr. Frost with this news he told her that he was very sorry that he could not be there for her and the children, but that he would compensate her nicely. What a load of hooey! I know what really happened, thanks to a close friend who happens to work with the Smoker’s entourage. The Smoker did not act in a polite and dignified manner. Not at all. In fact, according to my sources he lit up a cigarette, blew smoke in her face and then flew off without a word. I would like you to admit that you lied on behalf of Todd Frost and his alter-ego, and I would also like you to tell the truth of the matter. If my resquests are not met, you will be hearing from me again.

Concerned Citizen

 Editors Respond:

Well, Concerned, you are entitled to your beliefs, and it is your right not to trust our reporting, but that does not make you right. We have sources that were there at the scene (Editor in Chief Wally Rogers was among them) so we know our version of events is the correct one. Again, you are entitled to your opinions–we still have free speech after all–but please do not issue vague threats, especially when you do not even having the decency of putting your real name on the letter, it just makes you look like a fool and invalidates whatever you were saying.

Hey Daily Spirit, can you give me the Smoker’s private phone number? He is so HOT, I just want to wrap myself around him. Come on, hook a gal up. And don’t pretend like you’re not going to publish anymore of my letters. You know you will. I am a mainstay of the letter column you know.

Jamie P. Smoker lover

Editors respond: 

Thanks for the letter Jamie, we always appreciate hearing from you. For the millionth, and hopefully the last, time we cannot give you the Smoker’s private line. If you wish to speak to Mr. Frost you must call his office. That phone number can be found in any phone book in town, and don’t be so sure about us continuing to publish your letters, changes are coming, and we are intrigued by the idea of a letter column without Jamie P.

That’s all for now folks, keep those letters coming.